


Chapter 4

by Writer_Lethogica



Series: Locked in Heaven [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Other, side characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 18:21:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1084196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_Lethogica/pseuds/Writer_Lethogica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Our Favorite Dead Side Characters traversing the afterlife with all the crazy shenanigans of a romcom sitcom (because I totes have the headcanon that when angels die, they just end up back in heaven somewhere). Starring Bobby Singer, Ash, Jo and Ellen Harvelle, Pamela Barnes, Mary Winchester, Balthazar, Gabriel, Samandriel, and Meg Master. Guest Starring Chuck and Metatron.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chapter 4

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a fun project, so no beta. Enjoy! :)

“That doesn’t mean you jumped heavens intentionally…that means Castiel was _revived_ ,” said Ash. Pamela nodded.

“Lucky bastard,” said Balthazar, “I’d bet your soul it was that Dean Winchester. Those Winchesters always had a knack in raising the dead, especially Dean.”

“But that’s impossible,” said Mary, “You can’t revive a person. That makes no sense.”

She’d never heard of a way when she was a hunter.

“Oh, honey, what your family knew about hunting was just the tip of the iceberg,” said Balthazar. Mary grimaced. She didn’t like the idea of Dean doing something like that. There was always a consequence with messing with life and death. She knew that, even if she never thought it could be done.

“Now’s not the time to talk about angels and their boyfriends, though,” said Balthazar, “We should probably be more worried about our own situation.”

Mary was worried, though. She didn’t want harm to come to her children if it was one of them who resurrected the young man. Ash put his hand on her shoulder.

“He’s right, Mary. I know it sucks, but this is the more immediate problem. When we fix heaven, I’ll see what I hear on angel radio about Dean, Sam, and Castiel, but for now, let’s focus on this, okay?”

Mary shifted, still unsure if she liked that. However, she conceded.

“Okay,” said Mary. Ash smiled.

“Any idea where Bobby and Ellen crash landed?” asked Ash, turning to Pamela.

“I have an idea on where they are. They’re in different heavens.”

Ash nodded.

“That’s a start.”

“We should split up and meet back here,” said Jo.

“Sounds like a plan,” said Pamela, “I’ll stay here and wait for all of you to come back.”

“You’re Balthazar, right? Cas’ friend?” asked Jo, walking over to the dead angel. Balthazar nodded.

“Indeed I am.”

“Cas was a good guy, so I’ll trust you. I know angels are tricky though—try to double cross us and I’ll make you pay for it,” said Jo. Balthazar rolled his eyes.

“What are you going to do, kill me? I’m dead already.”

Jo smirked.

“Oh, I bet there are ways to hurt something in heaven,” said Jo, “Even if you have passed on.”

“If you really want to keep an eye on me, keep an eye on me. I’m only here because I’m curious, not because I want to thwart a couple of souls’ plans on bringing my family back here. To tell you the truth, most of them are dicks with wings. I’m just hoping that they’re not wrecking all the good stuff on earth like strip clubs and booze. If I’m ever revived, I can’t go back to a place that twenty-four-seven prayer time,” said Balthazar.

“Then it’s settled,” said Pamela, “Balthy and Jo will can go get Ellen. Ash and Mary can go get Bobby.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Jo, not breaking eye contact with Balthazar.

“Perfect,” said Balthazar.

“I guess that’s all right. It doesn’t matter really how we do it. We just need to go find those two and bring them back so we can all talk about this,” said Mary.

“I agree with you, Mary. Now, come on, let’s go,” said Ash. Ash grabbed her hand, walking her away. She blinked, and in a flash, they were at a carnival. There was the faint scent of cotton candy and big pretzels. The whole scene was a phantasmagorical blast of technicolored wonder with a layer of grime and semi-safe rides. She stopped when she saw the stand that served burgers and pies, grinning.

“Do we have time for a stop?” asked Mary.

“We’re souls. We don’t need food,” said Ash.

“But it’s _burgers_ …and PIE!” said Mary. Ash awkwardly shifted.

“Well, we sort of don’t have the time for that, Mary. We should just find Bobby and head back to Pamela’s. Maybe some other time, though?”

Mary kept grinning.

“Ash, are you asking me out on a date?” asked Mary.

“Er—Mrs. Winchester, I—uh—”

“It’s just a joke, Ash,” said Mary, “Besides, it’s ‘to death do us part’. John’s not my soul mate. I’m a single woman in heaven.”

For a moment, they were just looking at each other. Ash began to open his mouth, but Mary never did hear what he was about to say.

“Am I interrupting something?”

Ash quickly closed his mouth and turned to see Bobby, glancing down at something in between the two. Mary and Ash became extremely conscious of the fact that they were still holding hands. They quickly let go, stepping away from one another.

“Why would you say that? We came here to get you to Pamela’s heaven.”

“I can’t believe I lost my grip back there. I’m sorry about that.”

“At least you got trapped in a fun heaven, right?” said Mary a bit optimistically.

“Yeah, carnie rides and food that’s not quite FDA approved. Walking around this deathtrap was a hoot and a half.”

“Ha, ha, thanks for the sarcasm, sassmaster Bobby,” said Mary, rolling her eyes, “Now, shall we get back to the group?”

“I didn’t just walk over here to offer you a dance, sweetheart,” said Bobby. Ash sighed, grabbing both of them by the wrist.

“Come on, guys, time to get out of here,” said Ash, walking them out of the heaven and back to Pamela’s. Mary couldn’t help but smile.

“I like jumping through heaven’s with you more than with Balthazar,” said Mary, “It’s not as nauseating. You’re jumps are so smooth.”

Ash grinned.

“Why, thank you,” said Ash.

“Oh, stop with the flirting you two, _please_.”

Mary grimaced, turning to Balthazar.

“I don’t like your jokes, Balthy,” said Mary.

“Girls, girls, let’s not get into a catfight,” said Pamela.

“Technically I’m a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent—I’m an hir,” said Balthazar.

“An _hir_? What does that even mean? Does that mean Cas is an _hir_? Does my son…Does Dean actually…”

“Not time for you to have a crisis. The world you knew has changed in the forty years you’ve been gone—deal with it later.”

Mary glared at Balthazar, then groaned.

“Fine, fine—I’ll deal with it later,” said Mary, putting the thought in the back of her mind. Pamela smiled.

“Good to see we’re all on the same page now,” said Pamela, “Now, shall we talk about Metatron?”

Everyone turned to Pamela, all ears.

“So, what do you know, Pamela?” asked Ash.

“I know that Metatron’s up to no good.”

“Like we didn’t already know that,” said Ellen.

“Do you know that the next heaven he’s going to go to is the heaven of a dead archangel?”

The group grew silent.

“There are archangels who’ve died?” asked Mary.

“Oh, honey,” said Ellen, “All the archangels are dead.”

The idea was horrible to Mary. She knows what normal angels look like in their true forms, but an archangel—she couldn’t imagine how one could die, what sort of power it would take to kill one, if not _all of them_.

“Can you see which one it is?” asked Jo.

“It’s a bit fuzzy. My psychic abilities can only do so much,” said Pamela.

“That means we only have two places to look, then,” said Jo.

“Only Rafael and Gabriel are in heaven. Michaels stuck with Lucifer in hell at the moment…don’t ask,” explained Ash. Mary nodded.

“So, how are we going to do this?” asked Bobby, “When is Metatron going to try to snatch up a dead archangel?”

“You should probably get to those heavens soon.”

“I guess we should split up, three and three?” asked Jo. Pamela shook her head.

“No, I’m not going. I’m staying here. I want a couple of you to stay here as well,” said Pamela.

“Why?” asked Mary.

“Come on, I know you’re smarter than this, Mary. You think it’s safe talking to you about the crazy angel roaming about the place snatching up souls? I want protection.”

“Fine, we’ll split up into three groups,” said Ash.

“I’d say…Mary and Ellen, Bobby and Balthazar, and Ash and Jo. Ash and Jo stay. I don’t know why, but that just seems right to me,” said Pamela.

“But Pamela, that doesn’t make any sense,” said Mary, giving Pamela a confused look, “Neither Ellen nor I know how to jump through heavens.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” said Pamela, smiling.

“If you want, I could show you,” said Ash, “It’s not too hard. Just some Enochian astrophysics and transdimensional trajectory.”

Mary laughed, half surprised and half in awe.

“Ash, really, how smart do you think I am? Please, just, is there a way to show me that doesn’t involve so much math?” asked Mary. Ash laughed.

“An easier way…well, I guess not all people who drive planes know how planes work,” said Ash, scratching the back of his head, trying to figure something out, “I guess…I guess it’s like sticking your hand into a place with millions of connected strings to pull on one. Once you have that one string in your grasp you tug and it pulls you wherever its end is.”

“I’m…I’m not sure if I understand. But I’ll try my best,” said Mary.

“I’m sure you’ll do fine,” said Ash. Mary took Ellen’s hand.

“Now, don’t kill us, Mary. I don’t like the idea of being double dead,” said Ellen.

“I can do this,” said Mary, trying to convince herself more than anyone else, “You can believe in me, Ellen, I can do this.”


End file.
